A Comparison of Two Emilys

       Guilty confession, I've been watching The Real World. I know, its complete trash and I should find better things to do with my time, but there is something about all the drama and emotion and maybe even that sort of lifestyle that just grabs my attention. Unfortunately there seems to have been some repercussions... I'm starting to really feel for these people and have found myself sucked into all the emotions they're dealing with.
        Naturally, with the conservative/baptist lifestyle, I wasn't really expecting to find connections of parallels with the silly people on these shows. It really seems that they are just beyond helping sometimes. But a few of the people on this season come largely from the same situation, and I've found myself actually feeling for these people! Talk about silly. Getting all emotionally involved with the crazies on Real World. But then I got to thinking, those girls are sooo dumb but still I find myself dealing with a lot of the same issues they are. There's this girl, ironically named Emily, and she is rebelling from a very strict religious background. She is a hardcore feminist, and give speeches in almost every episode about how women should find independence and self worth in themselves rather than looking to men. Right now she's dealing with this crazy relationship with a guy named Ty. They sleep together and flirt constantly merely because they have such a 'great connection' and she just wants to have fun living her life and satisfying any desires she has. Naturally the guy thinks he's in love with her now and she's backing away because she  is so worried about any sort of reliance on a man. Drama!
Symbolism anyone?
        But really I've been thinking and talking with a lot of my girlfriends and it is flipping ridiculous how hard it is not to look to relationships and the reactions of the opposite sex to find gratification, and like I've been saying, self worth. Really who doesn't deal with that? I see myself as a sort of tiny subdued version of the RW Emily, which puts me pretty far up there on the scale of feminists and independent people. I want nothing more in life than to find complete satisfaction in the person God made me to be with or without the approval of others. But that is sooo HARD! Girls like me, we do ok when we're single and busy and not dealing with any thoughts of a potential relationship. I even think I'm lucky for being so far from the ideal catalog image of beauty that society has created for women. I think that beautiful girls have it sooo much harder because the world is full of charming men that are plain old hard to resist. But its just rough when I start to hear myself called beautiful. Or what's really hard to handle is when there is a man and he actually cares what I have to say. He thinks my opinions are fascinating, my quirks are adorable, and my jokes hilarious. With that sort of barrage on my ego, how could anyone not let that get to them. And then (here's when trouble starts) all of a sudden its just gone. This ladies and gentlemen is the turning point. Either you have held on to enough of yourself that you can return to a life confident in who you are, or the withdrawals come and you'll find yourself desperately fighting for that same attention, for that same sense of worth.
         So I find myself, Emily Blake, the girl that stands up for herself, the girl that refused to be intimidated, the girl who really knows all the answers, still dealing with the same dumb dumb issues that the girls on THE REAL WORLD  are dealing with. How can that possibly be?! But at the same time how refreshing. Really, how cool is it to realize one more time just how similar we all are. I love how vulnerable I become when I admit these seemingly petty issues, and I love knowing how many people have dealt and are dealing with the exact same things. I could talk to anyone about this. Really. Almost anyone could offer advice and relate to me and I know it. And I love it!