I haven't written in a while because I've been getting so flustered as I read some of the other blogs that I follow. When I started this blog it was because I was so fired up about sharing and creating vulnerability in my life. But looking at the way others write (keep in mind I'm probably not talking about you) I've noticed how preoccupied people are with the way they are perceived. It's like the internet has become a way for people to defend themselves from the privacy of their bedrooms. No one communicates for real these days. I'm talking face to face hashing it out despite the loss for words and the sick feeling in your stomach. In the past few months I've had so many conversations that were really just horribly tense. I'm more and more convinced lately that I truly am seeing the work of the Devil in the lives of this community. All around me relationships are weakening and falling apart. I'm so frustrated with it all and I'm even more frustrated with my inability to DO anything about it.
So yeah. I haven't been blogging because I will not respond to these situations electronically. I bet what a lot of you are thinking is that by writing this I AM responding. I guess that's true. Pointing out that I refuse to react to tension through my blog kind of makes it seems like I'm condemning those who have. I don't know, maybe I am. But I don't mean to be judgmental. What I mean to do it create a standard for myself. I cannot every understand other people and the things they do completely. I can only assess the actions of those around me and adjust in a healthy and Godly way.
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I think you make a lot of good points!
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I recently have written defensively in my blog. The whole purpose of my blog wasn't originally to share or give myself to people. It was to record myself for who I am, and what I think and feel in this moment in time. A window into my very being I can regard later. If people want to listen, that's cool too.
But it totally has evolved into defense recently! But how? and Why? As for me, I know it stems directly from insecurity. I appear vulnerable in my blog and I worry people talk about about it, or judge me for it. Really? People have better things to do, Jillian! It just seems to be easier to be defensive than be real. Or its easier to justify the things you say rather than simply take ownership for the things you say.
But yes, I totally agree with you. People should feel free to be vulnerable and speak candidly on their blog without fear of judgment or complete defense. I'm definitely going to keep this in mind.