anti-nesting?

         Getting so so so close to leaving time! Since I quit my job with the babies, I've been staying up a lot later, and spending a whole lot more time staring at my ceiling late at night wondering what on earth I'm supposed to be DOING.There are all these ways I could be preparing. For instance, I'm supposed to be getting familiar with journalistic writing and with photoshop. I bought this book on the history of missionaries and I could be reading that. Also I really wanted to buff up on memory verses and improve my quiet time before I leave. And today I found out that my room will be rented out during my 2 weeks back in Norman so it has to be completely packed up and cleared out sometime in the next month!! Not to mention getting some sort of Christmas/birthay present plan put together. I have a feeling I'm going to end up doing a lot of painting before I leave. Oh! And I also need to contact 5 churches and get them committed to support me with their prayers. Goodness there's just a lot. It's not that any of that will be difficult it's just that I'm not really sure where to start. So I haven't..
              All of that was to explain to you all why exactly I'm up at 4 am wide a wake and blogging for some weird reason. I guess I need to get back into the habit of this anyways don't I? They say communication is key when you're on the opposite side of the world from all your friends and family.
             Speaking of which, I'm proud to say I still have not freaked out :). Huzzah for peace of mind! To be honest I'm kind of annoyed with myself and my social habits lately. It's all too easy for me to stick in my comfort zone. I have my sisters and a few key hang out friends, and I find myself pushing away any chances at new or deeper friendships. I think I do this because I suck. It's a curse sucking is. If only I could ...unsuck? Unfortunately I really have no drive to change. I'm too comfortable, and too flippin socially awkward. So my point is, I'm ready to be forced into something new. The idea that my life will be turned upside-down appeals to me. I know it will be uncomfortable and probably even painful at times (they tell us all the time to expect depression), but for some reason I look forward to it. Thank you Jesus for my sense of adventure. I know this is a lot harder for some people than it is for me, and it's only because I lucked out. But yeah, I'm ready to go.
        So I keep feeling like I'm nesting or something. I keep going through all my things and throwing things away, and clearing out shelves and stuff. But I'm not settling in; it's more like I'm tearing my life apart to prepare for the new. I'm anti-nesting.... yup.